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Total Number of Subscribers: 1626 |
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Date: 5th September 2010 |
Compiled by: M Sathya Kumar |
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Only by honing listening
skills can a CEO decipher the thoughts, ideas, emotions, feelings and
concerns of people around him. Every CEO knows that listening is a powerful weapon in
his leadership armoury. Only by honing his listening skills can he decipher
the thoughts, ideas, emotions, feelings and concerns of people around him.
Decoding what is innermost in the minds and hearts of people is crucial to
his ability to address the real issues in the workplace. Preventing,
pre-empting and resolving the real issues is the key to the leader's
effectiveness and this, in turn, is the single most important factor in the
complex equation that delivers results consistently. All this is of course very well known … in theory.
Practice, however, is a vastly different ballgame. I am yet to come across a
CEO who is a finessed practitioner of the art of listening. Most people in
leadership positions will give you a wonderful and comprehensive lecture on
the art and craft of listening, replete with high-level analytics and amusing
anecdotes packaged into a slick presentation. But observe a leader at work in
his home territory and at once the gap between pontification and practice is
evident. Don't blame just the CEO. Most organisations foster a culture
of sycophancy without even being aware of it. Hierarchies by definition
enforce compliance. The “yes-sir” syndrome is pervasive in every social
setting in which money and power are present. Social service organisations and NGOs are no exception. The
lure of money, prestige, opportunity to enhance income and recognition, and
prospects for future assignments are all powerful guarantors of acquiescence
if not downright subservience. The CEO has been weaned on a diet of instant
agreement. He is used to getting his way without the slightest exertion. Talk Ratio This background and culture has created a formidable
barrier for the CEO. He has to demolish it if he is to cross the line from mediocrity
to greatness as a leader. Difficult, but not impossible. The Talk Listen
Ratio (TLR) could be a powerful metric to help him. If he invests some time
and effort to understanding it and then applies it even fleetingly the
benefits could be exponential. In fact, anyone who wants to harnesses the
power of listening can use the Talk Listen Ratio. The TLR is the ratio of the amount of time that you talk
in a conversation relative to the amount of time that you listen. So, if you
talk for 30 minutes and listen for 10 minutes, the TLR is 3. If you talk for
2 minutes and listen for 4 minutes the TLR is 0.5. It's a really simple
concept. Even though we all understand the importance of listening very few
of us can translate it into action. If we can think of the TLR and track it
even approximately we can derive huge benefits. If the TLR is 1 the indication is that you talk way too
much. In fact, chances are that you are talking even when the other person is
talking. Both parties in the conversation are cancelling each other out.
Neither is able to fathom what the other is trying to communicate. The
situation is tailor-made for a breakdown in the relationship. A good example of TLR-equals-1 situation is the nightly
farcical “debates” on TV news channels that know-it-all news anchors and
politicians inflict on the viewing public. The debate is actually a shouting
match with all participants screaming at the top of their voices. Nobody is listening or even making a semblance of an
attempt to understand what the other is saying. Each person is only focused
on propelling his or her position into the arena within the 10-second window
available before the anchor makes gratuitous interpretations. It is no wonder
that TLR-equals-1 is a recipe for wordy duels that leave all parties
simmering with anger and resentment. Balance The situation is even more extreme when TLR is more than
1. That is indeed a catastrophe in the making. It means that you're talking
far more than you're listening. You are not allowing others to articulate
their point of view. On the few occasions that they can get in a word
edgewise you're already tearing into their views by projecting and
rationalising your own position. After the other person realises that you are not
allowing him to speak he'll simply shut up and let you rant. That's even more dangerous because it means the other
person has given up trying to communicate with you. Meanwhile, you think
you're winning the argument and putting your views across convincingly. The other person's silence is mere resignation caused by
a conviction that trying to communicate with you is an exercise in futility.
Your relationship is sliding down the slippery slope to destruction. You
don't have a clue about what the other person is thinking or feeling. You
have no idea about his concerns. You are only operating on your own assumptions or what
you think he is communicating. Your understanding is far from reality.
Therefore you do not have the ability to communicate or address the other person's
concerns. You are in fact proving to the other person that you don't care
about him or his views. You have therefore killed your relationship with him.
That is what can happen when TLR is greater than 1. Does that sound familiar? Are you a TLR > 1 kind of
person? Strong bonds The best situation is for you to hold TLR down to as low
as possible. Though it's difficult to generalise, I would recommend a TLR of
around 0.25. That gives you plenty of opportunities to understand the other
person, his ideas and his worries. Then you can act in a manner that
communicates your respect and concern for him. You can build stronger
relationships when others feel that they can talk to you. That confidence is
created when you can listen without judgment or interruption. It is not necessary to thrust your views on others at
every given opportunity. By listening you can encourage, unburden and
motivate the other person. Perhaps you can ask open-ended questions that will
encourage the other person to share with confidence. A conversation is not
intended for scoring points. Instead, it is a grand occasion to strengthen
the relationship. That is what you can do by talking roughly 25 per cent of
the time that you listen. TLR can of course vary in differing scenarios. For
giving instructions it may need to hover around 1. For idea generation
sessions the TLR can be around 0.50 or less. To understand grievances or
problems the ratio has to be about 0.20. While providing feedback it can rise
to around 0.75. The real question is how do we go about measuring TLR?
While I've not yet invented a device, the old-fashioned way is simply to hold
your tongue. When you are not speaking you'll listen more and therefore,
learn more. To do that, we can cultivate a calm demeanour, mostly by
practising meditation. Let TLR < 1 , that is, talk less and listen more be
our mantra for success in 2010. Article by Madhav Mohan, earlier published in one of the reputed business magazine. |
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